How to stop being a rescuer in relationships

When you are the rescuer in the relationship, there are certain things that you don’t take motive of.

It is how that role is affecting you.

This is you always wanting to fix things. You do this when it’s not needed but you have the best intentions. It’s trying so hard to help others and forgetting about taking care of ourselves in the process. Putting so much energy towards other people’s problems and ignoring what’s happening in your life. You do not see anything wrong with the behaviour until the people close to you, address the issue. You are doing it the wrong way when all your loved ones want is just support from you.

You want to support that person

There is a huge difference between rescuing and supporting a friend or family member. When you support someone, it means that you are empowering them and being there for them during the difficult time they are facing. You don’t lose yourself while doing so, but you are helping them so that they can figure things out for themselves. People sometimes just want someone to be there for them instead of taking over. Support can come in the form of listening to them when they need someone to talk to, it can be taking them out for coffee or lunch so that they can relax and not be indoors all the time.

Do not be in a rush to help them

It will help them if you are patient and not rushing to help. Let them see you as both someone they can trust, and someone who will  be present throughout.

Encourage them

They will need you to get them to a point where they are okay and are not as hurt as before. Say things to them such as the following, “I know that if there is one person who can get past this, it’s you. You might not see it, but I have seen so much progress in you already. I am proud of you”.